Waiting Pains

I’ve always wondered if it was selfish or smart.

To leave someone behind.

If you’re not loving them enough if you leave. Or, perhaps, you’re not loving yourself enough if you stay. Is it right to stay? Is it right to leave? One has to be better than the other, doesn’t it? One must be right, and the other must be wrong.

Is it wrong of a cheetah to run ahead of a turtle?

Is it wrong for an eagle to realize a rhino can’t keep pace?

Or is it wrong for them to not be patient? For them to not keep waiting?

I don’t know.

And I sorely wish that I did. Continue reading “Waiting Pains”

Break Through

There’s something satisfying about smashing things. About watching them break and crumble. About watching them shatter, or crack. It was just… satisfying. To see that something out there was a million times for fragile than you could ever be. To be able to break something without hurting someone. It was refreshing.

It was a nice way to let go of some anger.

That’s for damn sure.

I haphazardly tossed another plate up, into the air above me. High enough to give myself time.

Time to ready the bat.

And time to swing.

When the bat connected, there was a satisfying chink and clatter as the plate was decimated. Undone. Guts made of glass exploded outward, scattering over the dirt.

I took a steady breath, exhaling and grinning.

Then I picked up another plate. Continue reading “Break Through”

A Thousand Drums

There is long corridor ahead. A vast hallway. A maze that twists and turns.

There are right paths.

And there are wrong paths.

And there are plenty of places where they intersect. Where the right and the wrong give opportunity for you to switch from one to the other. Which leaves you wondering:

Which is right?

And which is wrong?

It’s is a hefty question. One tied to consequence and reality.

And if I don’t find the correct route?

I lose.

But, what do I lose?

That’s a better question.

And it’s one that’s rather difficult to answer. Continue reading “A Thousand Drums”

Killer via Carrot

You know what’s terrible? What makes you feel like the absolute worst?

When something goes wrong, and you know, with absolutely certainty that it’s one hundred percent your fault.

It’s awful.

You get this festering in your stomach. This sort of hollow, ache. Thoughts circulate worse than a whirlpool, and it takes you under. Thoughts about how it’s your fault. How awful this thing you’ve done is. And then comes the real kicker: Continue reading “Killer via Carrot”

Character–A Study

In which I vomit up mumbo jumbo about characters I love and why that’s important.

Spoilers to: Spider-man, The Lion King, Six of Crows Duology, and The Grisha Trilogy—warning may or may not apply.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Okay, so, I’m going to do something a little different today.

THIS IS NOT A STORY.

I repeat:

THIS IS NOT A STORY.

This is a bit of a look into character and how it relates to writing. So, I guess you could say that this is a bit of a writing tip. Really, it’s more of a “food for thought” post regarding something that can either make or break your story:

Character.

Let’s study this a moment. Continue reading “Character–A Study”

New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve. New Year’s Day. They’re holidays, technically.

My least favorite holidays.

Mostly because people are always so busy. Which, in general, doesn’t bother me. But they’re all busy trying to figure out what they’re doing this upcoming year. Making plans, making changes and, most of all:

Making resolutions.

How foolish.

If you weren’t going to change last year, what makes this year different? Continue reading “New Year’s Resolutions”

The Finest Present

A present is a present is a present. The fact that someone is thinking of you enough to give you something should, in and of itself, give you something wonderful. That, in itself, should be enough.

But sometimes…

…it’s not.

Sometimes what you’re presented with isn’t enough. Continue reading “The Finest Present”

An Inner Demon Speaks

There is rain and there is wind and there is fire in this world. And they rage and they roar and they drown us. They run rampant. Out of control. Everything you’ve built in your lifetime can be trampled entirely to dust so easily by these monstrosities. These natural foes that wage their wiles. These wiles that they impose on us.

And what can you do but drown?

But be blown away?

But burn?

And what can make things better? What can heal what the world itself breaks? What could possibly even hope to give you strength to move forward? To continue?

Hmm…

I wonder.

I look through the wind and the rain and the glass to see them sitting and laughing and I wonder.

I wonder… Continue reading “An Inner Demon Speaks”

Fear

Do you know what fear is?

Do you?

Maybe you’ve felt it before. That hand inside your spine. It threatens to grip you, to tighten until you break in two. Lingering, moving, shifting. It evolves into anything and everything you see. You get confronted with it at every step. What if this is it? What if this is the thing? The one thing that will ruin everything?

That type of fear is called worry.

It whittles away at you. Eats you slowly. Devouring every thought in steady succession, chomping and chomping away at your roots until you shrivel away. Decay into nothing. A once beautiful, strong tree, eaten away by the worms.

And that’s just one facet of fear.  Continue reading “Fear”