The Finest Present

A present is a present is a present. The fact that someone is thinking of you enough to give you something should, in and of itself, give you something wonderful. That, in itself, should be enough.

But sometimes…

…it’s not.

Sometimes what you’re presented with isn’t enough.

And you begin to wonder:

Am I greedy?

Is there some sort of green monster driving you? A need for more because you simply desire more? Because what you have isn’t good enough? Or because what someone else has is better?

Are you greedy?

But, then, that would make anyone with ambition greedy.

Because ambition isn’t just the desire to do better.

The key ingredient to ambition is more.

And ambition can, in turn, lead to greed. That’s an indisputable fact. Every fat cat and cowardly traitor in the universe–or any universe, for that matter–is driven by ambition. Ambitions to be more powerful. More influential. Even the drive to stay alive can, unbelievably, become greedy.

Interesting.

So then, is all ambition greed? And if so, wouldn’t that make ambition bad?

No.

Not all ambition is greedy.

Sometimes we want more because we were made for more.

Something other than ourselves.

We all feel that.

Right now, there’s a void in you. A desire for something you think you need, or something that would better you. It might be a job, or fame, or more influence, or a particular person, or the attention of someone else, or almost anything under the sun. That present under the tree isn’t enough–and it won’t ever be enough.

Because what you need isn’t a physical thing.

You know it.

I know it.

If you’re reading this still, I believe you can feel it. That other thing gnawing at you. A curious hand pawing at the void in you. At that blank space. That hollow where something–something–is supposed to be. That hollow that used to be that more that you desire.

You just don’t know what it is.

You’re not sure when this hole came to be. Whether it’s always been there, or if it appeared sometime in your childhood. Or maybe you think it happened after this event, or that event. Or maybe you think it was meticulously carved out by a particular person. A significant other, or maybe a parent. Or, in most unfortunate cases, even by your own child. But, regardless.

There is something missing.

Isn’t there?

Are you scratching yet?

Are you curious?

Are you uncomfortable?

What is this hole? This void that you relentlessly toss things into? And, yes, you do, in fact, toss things in there.

Don’t you?

Hours of your life maybe, grinding away at work. Your home life–doing your best to be the impeccable husband, or wife, or son, or daughter, or parent. To make your home life everything you think it ought to be. Maybe you toss money into this void. Attempting to fill it with toys, cars, or gadgets that, in the end, break and leave you disappointed.

And that’s the crux of it.

Isn’t it?

In the end, you’re disappointed.

Because you toss all these things into this one pit and still.

You’re hungry for more.

More.

More.

Something, please, just fill this stupid void.

Plug up this gaping maw.

Fill this empty space beside me. Inside me.

I’m sure you’ve thought one of the above before. And, if not…

…then you’re probably connecting to one right this instant.

So, does that fact that you pay tribute to this black hole inside you make you greedy? Does wanting to get beyond it make you ambitious–unrighteously so?

No.

It doesn’t.

We all seek to fill that void. It’s just that some of us are further along with it than others. Some of us have figured out that, experimenting with that void? Doesn’t help a thing.

Let me help you out:

Stop throwing things into that void.

Stop feeling lonely.

Stop feeling helpless.

Stop feeling like you owe someone something.

Or that you’re owed in return.

Stop feeling desperate.

Stop feeling hopeless.

Stop being faithless.

Because you can move past this.

There’s more in this world than dark voids and gnawing holes.

If there weren’t…

…you wouldn’t even know what a hole is.

Because up has to exist for there to be down.

There must be darkness before you know what light is.

There has to be ugly in order for you to understand what beauty is.

And something has to be seen whole first, in order for you to know when it’s missing something.

You’ve been whole before.

And you can be whole again.

That ambition isn’t wrong. Your greed to fill that emptiness isn’t sinful.

The thing that’s wrong is: what you’re trying to fill it with.

Which is why it hasn’t been working. Which is why you’re being forced to wonder if you’re greedy or not. And, if you’re doing the right thing or not.

Let me help you out:

So try something different.

Try something you haven’t before.

Search beyond yourself.

Because if that hole could possibly be filled by you…

…don’t you think you’d have done it by now?

So look beyond.

Go further.

Step kindly towards the unknown.

Understand what more is. Something that is more than what you are.

We’re all trying to fill this emptiness.

Don’t just do what works.

Do what’s right.

Because there’s only one present that will be enough.

Don’t waste your time.

Don’t put the wrong piece in.

It’s a waste.

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